Two minds. That's what I am always in. One of the cons of being an introvert is that you think a tad too much. Emotions mostly take precedence over logic, atleast for the (in)sane. Some smart-ass says 'emotions have taught mankind to reason'. In which case, how far are you willing to caper your principles of reasoning? Is it worthy to curb your emotions for logic when neither is gaugeable? However so, letting logic or emotion take precedence over one another amounts to, what I call, a backlog of guilt. There's no denying that our beliefs/ideals are subjective and what's emotional for you is logical for me and vice-versa. If you disagree, you carry three more ounces of guilt than I do.
Most guilt is illogical anyway but it doesn't make you feel any better. Some of us are too good to even realize guilt. Lucky people. Guilt certainly has a domino-effect on your thinking. Many a times, I am guilty for not having done anything in particular, but for simply how I think or feel. We were never encouraged to question. And when your logical questions evade emotions, you are labeled arrogant. If you don't question and act humble, welcome to fool's paradise. Very often, I find myself in this dilemma of sorts. I learnt the hard way to never let emotions take over your judgement. And, perhaps, that is what has resulted in an unspoken guilt. If you do not speak your mind, your are regretful, later, if not know. Either way, its the same spin cycle.
Most guilt is illogical anyway but it doesn't make you feel any better. Some of us are too good to even realize guilt. Lucky people. Guilt certainly has a domino-effect on your thinking. Many a times, I am guilty for not having done anything in particular, but for simply how I think or feel. We were never encouraged to question. And when your logical questions evade emotions, you are labeled arrogant. If you don't question and act humble, welcome to fool's paradise. Very often, I find myself in this dilemma of sorts. I learnt the hard way to never let emotions take over your judgement. And, perhaps, that is what has resulted in an unspoken guilt. If you do not speak your mind, your are regretful, later, if not know. Either way, its the same spin cycle.
I remember on our way to school one day during mid-term examinations, the bus broke down and all of us got down pretty much sunk in our books. A little boy who worked on the cycle shed about the corner was intently staring at us. I striked a conversation and realized he was about my age. Squint, he looked much, much younger than his age. All he said was, "I wish you could help me go to school." Everytime, the bus took a turn round the corner, I would either hunch down or look away, consciously ignoring the guy. I was guilty.
Logic: I couldn't help him in any way. I am 12 afterall.
Emotion: I could, but I never tried.
All actions, what we believe to be logical decision, are subconsciously based on emotions. We talk about decisions that feel or seem right. Emotions are perhaps signals that tell us a lot about what we really choose. What you presume to be hurtful (or not) may be favor in disguise (or not) but what's the harm? They say holding guilt is a chronic disorder, anyway. Logical or not, you have to rid of your unspoken guilt.
If you need answers, ask. Love someone, well, hello! What are you waiting for? (There is a risk of getting friendzoned) Hate someone, punch. (As long as (s)he deserves and you are not guilty) Disagree, spit.
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